It was a long bad day. I was going to write today. It had such promise at the start. Ideas were just bubbling through, and for some reason the wind has shifted. I write all the time, but it’s for me, for my journal. I have to fight to direct the writing outward and share it with the world. But not this morning. This morning the thoughts all wanted to be free. I usually dither about my “audience” which is really just code for what voice I’m going to write with, what mask I’m going to put on.
I mean, the first clue should have been when I knocked over the coffee maker trying to make a second cup, sending boiling water and coffee grounds all over the kitchen, burning my hand in the process. That should have been the first clue that things were not going to go as planned. Maybe I should have listened then, but I didn’t take it as an omen at the time, just shrugged and started cleaning. The thoughts were still bubbling through me, and I couldn’t wait to get my fingers on the keys.
Then I wrote the first piece, a throwaway thing about this game I’ve played for the past couple of days, because that was the freshest thing on my mind, and then everything went to hell, and I spent the rest of the day in the nightmare-fueled world of WordPress Customer Service. Which was exceedingly awful for the simple fact that they just don’t have enough customer service people to do the job, so even though you have “24/7” access to “priority” customer service, it’s going to take them six hours to get to your 30 minute problem. A problem which still exists in some form, but at least by the end of the day, I could post my crappy blog post about the crappy train game and be happy with it.
I’m actually not happy with it, but I’m happy that the basic function worked. I think I might delete it and repost it. Something weird happened to the Markdown. It used to be the markdown got converted automatically, but that shifted at some point. I remember going around this mulberry bush before, but I can’t remember what the solution was. And I’m locked out of the mobile app, or rather the mobile app is insisting on doing some sort of 2FA that doesn’t exist. And the little widget that used to float in the corner that I used to login into my blog is gone, and I can’t seem to bring that back. And for a while the stupid dickbar returned–I popped a blood vessel when that happened. The WordPress Happiness Engineer took care of that with a little CSS jiggery-pokery that I think may be against the rules, but I really don’t care at this point.
It’s really stupid for this blog, but I think I’m going to look into shifting to a different hosting provider. I thought getting it straight from WordPress would be the best option, but I was clearly wrong.
Now we’re back, though. The thoughts are still flowing, but I’m kind of worn out. I thought I’d sit here and write more, get these out and onto the page, but man, I’m just tapped. I don’t know when the Internet got this bad, but it’s really bad. Customer service is just a joke, and you can’t get decent answers from a search engine anymore. I was just trying to track down what some of the WP specific CSS tags might be, and I had to resort to the AI feature on the search page, because the regular search was not returning anything useful.
And it wears you out to be that frustrated for that long. I used to live like that. God, that was awful, to be like that from dawn to dusk, all hours of the day, upset at everyone and everything. I felt it creep up on me today; I killed my IFTTT account in a pique of frustration the other day. It makes me feel so awful, so out of control, but on the other hand, when something like this happens, I can’t let it go. The monotropic mind closes like a steel trap and it will not put the broken blog down and I’m just being super obnoxious for six hours until someone finally paid attention to me. Yuck.