And because a physical space in the world can always be returned to, so we feel irrationally, somehow certain, impossibly certain, that we should be able to return again to some often unfinished relationship, some childhood scene or situation or regretted outburst of love or temper or to undo some tragic chance action back in the imagined inexistent space of the past.
Excerpt From: Jaynes, Julian. “The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind.” Houghton Mifflin Harcourt (hmhbooks.com), 2000-08-15. Apple Books.
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This really spoke to me because I’ve felt this so many times, this belief that somehow I could go back to some point in the past, either to a place and time when I was happier or to correct some past mistake. Interesting to learn that it might come from how consciousness actually works.
And how different that yearning for the past was compared to my recent explorations of my childhood while I’ve been dealing with my mother’s dementia. The former was an attempt to return to a place that no longer exists, while the latter was more about saving what relics and memories I can find. I think the latter was more healthy, too, though I’m glad to be taking a little break from it for now.